A Different Perspective

Hello friends.

I think we all need some hugs right now.

The past couple of days have been a whirlwind with this election and I've struggled to find the right words or the right things to say.  I've floundered terribly.  I've always been best when I've had time to process things, and when I'm able to sit down and write.  Or in this case, type.

I could sit here and argue my case for why Hillary was the better choice, or complain about the electoral college, or fight about how Trump is going to ruin our country.  I could go so many ways with what I want to say.  But that's not going to help.  There is one truth to this election that seems to be needed to be said.

We are a country divided right now.  Everyone is going crazy over their thoughts and opinions.  That is part of the beauty of this country, and this day and age.  We have those capabilities.  We have those rights.  We can express ourselves however we want, whether it's to stand up for what we believe in, or to troll someone we don't agree with.  The thing of it is though, we are not using this power to our advantage.

It's done.  The election is over.  Unfortunately we cannot change that.  And most of the time, we cannot change the opinions of one person on social media.  Even as I sit here typing this, hoping against hope that this might make someone see things from a different perspective, it most likely won't reach the eyes of those who need to see it.  What we can do, though, is live our lives in an exemplary manner, against the startling trend of those who are not.

I've seen and heard some really racist and bigoted things in the past two days.  People putting on social media things that just amplify that there are MAJOR problems with humanity.  It starts with us, though.  It starts as the people we are, the examples we are for our peers and our children.

I'm a teacher (a dance teacher).  I see over a hundred kids every week.  I am very lucky to live in a pretty privileged area of the country.  I am lucky that I can make a living teaching.  This also means I have influence.  That is NOT to be taken lightly.  I've had older kids tease me in the past, but one of the biggest things I preach is kindness in the classroom.  Be kind to the people in your class.  Be kind to yourself.  Be kind to your teachers.

And I think America needs to step back and remember that for a moment.  It seems like we all want change in one way or another, but is the solution to bully each other to get our way?  No.  Bullying is never the solution.

In the days going forward, let's remember who we are as a country and where we came from.  We are all technically from somewhere else.  It's easy to forget if you've lived in this country for your entire life.  The thing of it is, our ancestors came over from other countries for various different reasons.  If you think back to 1621- the year of the first Thanksgiving- that was a BOLD thing to do.  They traveled by boat into uncharted waters where it would take them WEEKS to reach more land.  They risked their lives when there were no modern comforts that we enjoy today.  They had no clue what they were doing, but they did it.  They moved away, they settled into new land, and they eventually started this wonderful country.

I know many will argue that this isn't such a wonderful country, but it IS.  We have so many rights that others do not.  We are fortunate to have so much- including clean drinking water and food.  It is a LUXURY that we have the opportunity to fight for more, and for what we think is right.

So in that line of thinking, we need to remember our COMPASSION.  Put yourself in someone else's shoes.  If you live on the coast in a city with an office job, try to think about the person living in the midwest who's job it was to work in a factory, and who's entire life was built around that factory, but when it closed down, the entire town lost their jobs and now they live in poverty.  They both paint a different kind of America, don't they?

Please, over the coming next four years, fight for what you believe in.  But fight for what you believe in with kindness, understanding, and compassion.  Don't resort to violence.  Don't resort to hatred.  We need to teach our kids that so that we don't fall into scenarios where there's hate speech and actions coming from kindergarteners.  We need to show our future generations how that by coming together, despite our differences, we can do great things.  Everyone makes mistakes along the way, and electing Trump may or may not be one of those mistakes, but it's how we deal with it in the end that shows who we are.  Let's show the rest of the world that we're not a joke.

Let's show them what we're made of- all races, all religions, all cultures, all kinds of peoples from all walks of life coming together to think about more than just ourselves, but of our country and the world as a whole.

And here's a hug, from me to you.

RIP Professor Snape

Certain celebrity deaths get to us.  When I found out about Michael Jackson- I remember that sticking with me.  I was a little young to remember the depth of Princess Diana, but I do remember thinking how tragic it was. Heath Ledger dying was a shock as well.  I remember being at work seeing it on the tv, and being in denial of it.  I am finding myself in a similar place today.

David Bowie died earlier this week, and that was tragic.  I never got into his music in any sort of depth, but I did listen to and appreciate his music.  I'll always remember him as the goblin king in Labyrinth.  That movie was great, and he made it better.  

But then came the news this morning- Alan Rickman died.  I am so heartbroken.  He played a character in one of my favorite series- Harry Potter.  He was Professor Snape.  All the quotes and pictures going around of him are making me so sad.  I knew Alan Rickman from a young age as Colonel Brandon in Sense and Sensibility.  He was always a proper British man, and from everything I could tell, a sweet man with a great sense of humor.  

RIP Alan Rickman.  Your death will leave a hole in this earth.  

Fitness Femme

I've been a little behind on this blog.  I was doing well, but I've started to get super busy again.  Work is amping up, there are social events to attend, and I've got a wedding to plan!  As long as I have occasional days off like today, I CAN do it all!  

One of the things that tends to slide when I get busy like this is my ability to stay healthy.  So far I have not caught any of the crazy colds going around (knock on wood!), and I plan on keeping it that way. 

I joined a gym for the first time EVER!  The only times I have ever stepped foot in a gym was in college.  My dance friends and I decided we wanted to actually take the advice of our teachers and go to the gym to perfect our dance muscles.  I stepped into the gym twice.  The only thing I remember doing is maybe trying the elliptical?  Beyond that, I've apparently blocked most of the memories. 

For someone who is in her 30s and has never really been to a gym, I thought signing up for Planet Fitness might be a good idea.  It touts a "judgement free zone" atmosphere according to the commercials, and I figured I wouldn't be surrounded by women who are size 2 with rock hard abs and arms.  My jiggle when I run wouldn't be totally out of place...

So far, I've been twice.  I am impressed that there aren't a ton of people who appear to be crazy fit.  There were of course the obligatory muscle dudes by the free weights whose arms were close to the size of my head, but they all seemed very quiet and respectful.  There were of course a lot of women who seemed in their 30s or 40s trying to get back in shape, and there were the 40 to 50 year male set who were crushing the cardio machines (I'm always so impressed!).

I did watch one girl totally kill a workout with some weights.  She was thin, strong, and beautiful- jealousy material for sure.  Instead of feeling jealous, though, I have taken that as motivation.  If I can lose this fat jiggle that has appeared on me in the past year (I gained 15 pounds in a year and a half, thanks metabolism), I can conquer anything.

Some of you may laugh at that last statement thinking "losing weight isn't the hardest thing you'll ever do!" Well, it's close.  As a little background, I've been thin all my life.  Up until probably age 30 I never had to even bother working out.  My friends in high school would all comment at how thin and in shape I was.    I started running in my mid to late twenties and I would do that on and off but nothing serious.  I could always eat what I want, and then spend a week focusing on being a little healthier and drop the weight easily.  I've had 2 major break ups in my life that left me unfortunately unhealthy. My senior year of college, I broke up with my first real true love that wasn't a high school relationship.  Combined with other situations going on, my stomach became a mess and my diet became the diet that Emily from Devil Wears Prada uses "...and when i feel I'm about to faint, I eat a cube of cheese."  As much as I would love to say this is a joke, it's not.  Cabot Vermont cheddar was my cheese of choice. I lost a scary amount of weight and had everyone worried about me.

I had another break up that, although a hugely positive change in my life, left me feeling a little broken.  I had been in this toxic (admittedly on both sides) relationship that had eaten away at me for years.  I don't exactly know why I lost as much weight as I did.  I was eating at least 2 big meals a day, and I remember a lot of doughnuts and cheeseburgers involved, as well as one too many adult beverages.  So how I lost a ton of weight, I don't know.  Maybe it was the lack of sleep that followed me with the increase in caffeine.  Who knows? Either way, I wasn't the healthiest.

So all of a sudden, last year we had about a thousand snow days.  Fiancé and I only had one shovel between the two of us, so I wasn't shoveling.  We would hear the storm was coming so we would go and buy a bunch of "snowed in snacks", and that was great until it happened for a third time.  That plus my couch equaled ten pounds in a few months.  For the first time in my life, I actually started to need to work out.  

I ran and walked over the summer as best I could, but it didn't go as well as I had planned, not to mention all the bbqs and summer birthdays, and my mind being stuck in Engagement Land (<- pretty great place to be though!).  I finally got back to teaching and the weather held out long enough this year that I was running up until Thanksgiving.  And then another calorie fest occurred with the holidays!  

So that brings me up to now.  I know that I'm "one of those" that have signed up in the craziness of January.  But let me tell you, I will not be quitting this.  I'm sore and I can feel leg muscles getting pushed, but I am so excited to feel good again!  I feel accomplished when I walk away from a good sweat sesh, and if i can really make sure to keep my diet better, I will be losing weight in no time!  

I'm calling this plan Operation Wedding Dress, because that is my central goal- look good in a skin tight strapless dress!!  

Have you made any fitness goals this year?  

Scary Concept... Or not.

I'm about to type a really scary word.  Are you ready?  Can you handle it?

Feminism.

OH DEAR GOODNESS NOT FEMINISM OH NO SHE HAS GONE DOWN A TERRIBLE PATH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!!!!

Hold up.

So you're not scared?

Good.  You shouldn't be.  I'm not about to go on some tirade about the unfairness of life as a woman.  That is not my intention going into this post.  What i am intending is just to get a few of my thoughts out.  

I was scrolling through my Facebook feed this morning and came across an article about female nerds.  I was interested because to an extent I identify as nerdy.  I enjoy Doctor Who to a bit of a sick degree.  I went to go see the new Star Wars movie and have already spent some time geeking out with friends over the finer points.  I watch Sherlock and Game of Thrones.  I love a good deal of the superhero movies out there, and recently got very sucked into Jessica Jones.  Ask anyone about my love for dinosaurs and Jurassic Park.  I own comic books, and have been known to dabble in a video game when Fiancé wants me to participate (though not very often). Apparently according to this article I'm not a minorty.  

What made me upset in the article is that they talked about how some men still consider women to not be legitimate nerds.  It described how some women are practically persecuted online for trying to voice their opinions.  It even went on to say that some women have had their lives threatened for being a woman with an opinion.  Can you believe that?  What year is this, because it doesn't sound like 2016!!!  I am floored that there are people out there who still consider women not as equals.

I am a woman.  I know that there are stark differences between men and women, but in NO WAY should we be considered different in our rights. I have the right to say that I partially identify as nerdy!  I may not be as crazy about it as others, but that happens with both genders! 

I've recently started reading the book "I Am Malala."  Already in the beginning, reading about how women have such antiquated mindsets when it comes to how a woman should grow up is unbelievable.  Young women are lucky to go to school and receive an education since they are considered more apt to stay home to cook and clean.  I can't imagine living in 2016 and being told I can't have an education because my role in life is to eventually be a wife and mother.  While I respect the fact that their culture is very different from mine, it doesn't help in a global viewpoint that humans should all have the right to be treated equal.  

It scares me that this mindset is still out there.  It's there in every day life.  I once knew someone who's favorite joke to me would be to tell me to get in the kitchen and make them a sandwich.  I rolled my eyes at it then, but I was young and didn't care too much.   Nowadays, that man would get an earful and would learn not to ever say that to me again.  

I teach young girls for a living.  Yes, dance is considered a feminine sport, but men dance as well.  We have 3 young strapping gentlemen in our competition program who hold their own in the dance world.  But the point is that these men are learning how to treat wormen as their equal.  The young ladies I am teaching are learning that they can hold their own as well.  I adore watching many of my students grow up and see how independent and strong they become.  My female students deserve to learn that they have the same rights as men, and can be or do whatever they want to.  If they want to geek out about Doctor Who- go for it.  If they want to talk about how beautifully feminine ballet is with all its sparkle and pink, then go for that too. They have the right to choose what they want to like, just the same as any guy.

I am a feminist.  I believe in the equal rights of men and women.  I don't think women deserve more than men, but I don't think they deserve less.  I'm not a crazy feminist- I don't throw it in anyone's face, nor do I consistently post on any social media about it.  But I am strong, I have an opinion, and I hope that our younger generations feel the same.  I want my generation to raise strong women as well.  I can only hope someday that if I have a daughter, that she knows that I support her 100% to have as much as any man.  I know that my future husband will support this.  He may not say it outright (I doubt he's thought too much about it because he was just raised to be this way), but he's a feminist as well.  He supports the rights of women, and I love that he sees me as an equal.  

All I want is for women to have the right to choose what they want out of life.  I want them to have the right to choose what to do with their bodies, to have the right to equal pay, and to not be looked upon as "weaker."  

So feminism- really not as scary as some people have made it out to be in the world.  

Reflection of the Year

Tomorrow is New Year's Eve.  This is always a good time for me to step back and reflect on my past year.

As far as my own journey goes, I didn't have any big "AHA!" moments for the year.  No big personal discoveries or lessons learned.  It's been a slow year for that.

Something big DID happen, though!  Fiancé asked me to marry him in the sweetest way possible.  I am the luckiest person in the world to have the sweetest, most caring, most thoughtful man to want to be mine forever.  It's crazy to me to think about that!  What's even better is that we started the process of wedding planning and found our venue.  I also found my dress, which I know will be a special moment for me and my mom.

As far as things that I did...  The biggest thing that sticks out to me is the group vacation I went on with Fiancé and his friends.  We traveled to Cape Cod for a weekend and spent part of one of the days revisiting Martha's Vineyard.  It was a great time connecting with Fiances friends, and for the first time in 3 years I got into ocean water and actually swam! 

The beginning of 2015 brought snowpocalypse, and who knows if that will happen again.  So much snow, so many Monday classes missed, and lots of muscles trained to walk in snow.  Jurassic World came out and it was the first time I was so excited to see a movie that I went to see it twice.  My birthday theme was also inspired by it and I had a dinosaur birthday.  

I stepped out of my comfort zone and tried my hand at an aerial taster class with one of my besties.  I managed to do some really amazing things, like get decently off the ground by climbing up the highest on the silks.  It was a lot of fun, and after the fact was very humbling, seeing as I was very sore...

I had my third round of jury duty, with my second time being picked.  Not my favorite experience, but it led up to Nicks proposal.

I made some new friends, reconnected with old ones, and lost one or two along the way as well.  I'm becoming more aware of who I want in my life, and when I need to either cut things off or pursue a relationship further. It's nice to feel comfortable as an adult sometimes!  

It was really a good year, but I'm ready for the new one.  There are so many challenges coming my way that I am so excited to be a part of!  From wedding planning, to new competitions for dance, to traveling, to getting things in order for my life with Fiancé, it's going to be a lot to handle.  However, I am up for the challenges!  Maybe tomorrow I will discuss more of what I am aiming my goals for 2016 to be!  

Life Lists

We all see them.

"25 things you NEED to do in your 20's."

"10 things you shouldn't have in your closet."

"30 things you should have by your 30s."

I hate these headlines.  Some of them can be pretty useful.  Yes you should be considering saving for your retirement, and yes you should travel by yourself at some point, and NO you should NOT be wearing that too tight bodycon dress with cutouts in the sides and the skirt so short you can see parts no one should see at the age of 30.  But many of THOSE are common sense.  What I don't like are those lists that persecute personal likes and dislikes.  

This thought process was brought about by an article I saw online today about 10 things that "need to stop" on Instagram.  For about half of them, I was totally guilty of doing.  Obligatory latte pic?  If it's pretty looking, you bet I'm going to post it!  It's like displaying a piece of coffee art.  Someone made it, and I bet they like their work being displayed.  It's appreciation, and recognition in the beauty of something simple.  It may not be the most creative, but it's my Instagram account.

Why do people feel so entitled to judge others online?  This drives me crazy.  I can't say that I am 100% innocent of this- I am in fact human and have my faults- but what I can't wrap my head around is the idea of people feeling like they can be a critic of others' personal choices because they spend too much time on social media and think that because of this it makes them an expert. If they stepped out of social media world for just a minute, they might actually realize that judging these other people doesn't make them better or more important.  It just kind of makes them jerks.  I realize the irony here is that I'm judging them, but it's to make a point.

I don't justify my life anymore by the choices that other people make.  I'm not in a race with anyone else to win at life, and I certainly do not have the average lifestyle of someone who has the thought process to make up a list of things you should/shouldn't do/have by age x.  I'm 31, and I like my life.  I like who I am and what I do.  There is always room for improvement, and there are always lessons to be learned, but I am not going to live my life by someone else's list.  Every person is on their own journey, and experiences things at different points.  Every experience is unique to the individual.  

So here is MY list for every day when I can-

1.  Be you.

2. Be confident in being you.

3.  Enjoy it.

4. Practice kindness.

5. Be mindful.

6. Allow yourself to feel your emotions.  

7. Be silly.

8. Laugh.

9. Love with all your soul.

10.  Follow your happiness.  

I think that about sums it up.  And if you don't like that list, make your own!  

The Day After Christmas

It's funny what Christmas becomes as we get older...

I'm sitting here on the day after Christmas rifling through different emotions.  As I look back on yesterday, I am so happy.  Everyone loved their presents that I gave them.  I did not win the Christmas pickle tradition, but am happy that Chantal was victorious.  Christmas Eve Eve brought many friends to us that made me smile.  The food was delicious, and the happiness that my family got from the beautiful meal my mom put together was overwhelming.  I am, as always, blown away by the amazing gifts my friends and family thought of to give me.  And nothing beats those moments when Fiancé would look at me and pull me in for a hug or a kiss, and all I could feel in those were love and joy.  

But now it's the day after Christmas.  The lights lose a bit of their sparkle.  The apartment looks like a tornado ran through it between the craziness leading up to Christmas, and the returning back home with almost as much stuff as we left with.  There is a ton of delicious food in the house- most of which I will feel guilty for eating in the next few days.  I miss having 2 fluffy puppies always getting in my face for rubs or playtime.  There's just a general feeling that this season went by too fast, and that somehow I didn't enjoy it enough in the moment.  

The good thing is that I still have a week of vacation.  Today is jam packed with friends and stuff to do.  Tomorrow we will see Nicks family again.  There is wedding planning to do, a day of reading on the couch, and figuring out New Years Eve.  Now I'm sitting here wondering if I will get time to relax...  

The moments that made me happiest were the simple ones.  Seeing my mom's face as we sat down for dinner and how good the meal was.  My sister fist-bumping me for "winning at Christmas".  My dads smile and laugh when he opened up the game I got for him and my mother.  Nick pulling me in for a hug. Texts from my friend Jess about her narwhal slippers, and texts from my friend Billy about his Christmas.  It wasn't the big crazy moments.  It was the small simple ones.  It was the feelings of contentment, and being with the people who matter.  

So overall, I guess after writing it out,  I'm feeling extremely happy about Christmas.  There is a small lingering sadness that it's over, but otherwise I am excited to get my vacation going!  

What was your favorite part of Christmas?